On Saturday night, I went round a friend called Dave's house and drunk too much and played a bit of Pro Evo and guitar and stuff. After a few too many, I created a list with the help of the participants around me. It is about a girl, who's name I have replaced with ******** and one of the words in point number 4 I have replaced with a few random characters due to it being too obscene for the general public. Thus, here is the list with translations and/or reasons in square brackets:
IN ORDER TO FUCK ********
1) I must be boring [this person typically finds my sense of humour irritating].
2) I must get with what she gets with [self explanitory really].
3) I must be interested in the shit she's interested in [ditto].
4) I must insert my dik into her @#?/>}*!& [dick I think that is].
5) Get one of her friends to find out what typer of buys she likes ark then turn into that person [Get one of her friends to find out what type of guys she likes and then turn into that person].
6) Get a penis enlargement [good idea apparently...].
7) As soon as she askes me out, Iim on the downward slope to getting withher [she won't fuck me if she's my girlfriend].
8) Rohypnol [date rape. I can't believe I spelt this right].
9) Hammer across her face. If I fucke heer while she's still warm it would be a bit leese necrophilic (only if she resists (4) [lol].
10) Tell her how much I fucing love her. She's fucking perfect [oh dear, I'd reached my sentimental state].
11) Give her a flower, coz that's boring AND romantic [I seem to be able to punctuate correctly when pissed, but not spell].
12) Give her a circus of midgets performing a song withe her name in [thanks Tim, I tried, but couldn't find a circus of midgets in college. "A circus of midgets? For me? OH!"
13) Dedicate/write asong abot her andperform it intront offer [very accurate spelling due to mashedness].
